My name is Taco, and I WoW on an RP server.

I know. I know. I can hear you all shaking your heads in sad disappointment now.

But I'm a really good roleplayer. That's a rarity, even on an RP server.

Take my favorite character, for example. He's an undead warlock. So he's got a thing for dead chicks. And dead chicks? They're prone to rot. So every time I'm ogling a hot undead player, I say, "Dude, did you see the tits near that chick?"

I'm not mature enough to be married.

Whenever we go out for a meal, my wife suggests eating at Moe's, because she "can't get enough of the tuna taco."

Tell me, how the hell am I supposed to hear that without giggling?

I used to have some things...

...but I gambled them all away. I tried to get some more things, but I didn't have much money, so I could only afford some stuff. Of course, they don't make stuff like they used to, so it was broken all to shit within a few months. That's okay, though. Even though it's all shit now, it's my shit. I keep it all in a little pile in my room. It's very impressive. All my friends who've seen it, they all say, "Man, that guy really has his shit together." Except my wife. She's always saying, "Why don't you get rid of all this shit?" Which makes no sense. She wants me to throw away all my shit, but she's always giving me crap. I asked her why she was always trying to unload all her crap on me, and she said, "Women don't have crap. They have things."

I wish I had some things.