I don't care if she plucked puppies from god's ass.

Picked up The Plan today. Just finished watching it (and the extras). Awesome. It's almost like watching a behind-the-scenes flick on the actual plot. Maybe that makes no sense. Lots of fun, though, good story, and very good ending. I'm jonesing for BSG again. May have to binge on the whole series now.

Don't want to jinx myself, but I think the interviews are going well. Getting more excited with every iteration, which is something of a novelty for me. Supposed to schedule the next one on Monday. Woo.

Wifezilla wanted hot wings so we went to Hooters for lunch today. Lunch at Hooters on Halloween is a Very Good Idea.

There was a guy two tables over dressed as Joker from The Dark Knight. This was the most elaborate Joker costume I've ever seen. It was convincing enough that I was hard pressed to even attempt to dissuade Kidzookie from his assertion that he was the real Joker. I tried to get the kids to go over and ask the guy why he was so serious, but they were afraid of him. Asking him if he wanted to see a magic trick was also a no-go. On the way out, however, Joker got up from his table and approached the kids, and gave each of them a playing card upon which the Joker's face had been scrawled over the normal array of diamonds, clubs, hearts, or spades.

Completely. Fucking. Awesome.

The kids are now even more convinced he was the real Joker. Who knew the real Joker ate at Hooters?

I stayed at home to hand out candy while Wifezilla took the kidzookies out trick-or-treating. We ran out of candy, which I figure is the mark of a good Halloween.

Sometimes the jokes don't land.

INTERVIEWER: So I apologize if this question is too easy or is insulting, but you'd be amazed by how many supposedly senior developers can't answer it.

TACO: Okay.

INTERVIEWER: Can you tell me what a static variable is?

TACO: Yeah, that's when you rub two programs against each other and variables from one build up on the surface of the other one, right?

CRICKETS: Chirp! Chirp!

20 Questions (+/- 15)

WIFEZILLA: Why is the dog staring at me like that?

TACO: Because you have cheese.

WIFEZILLA: Why is the dog staring at me because I have cheese.

TACO: Because he's waiting for you to give him a slice.

WIFEZILLA: Why is the dog waiting for me to give him a slice of cheese?

TACO: Because he likes cheese.

WIFEZILLA: How does the dog know he likes cheese?

TACO: Because I give him a slice of cheese whenever I get one.

WIFEZILLA: Why do you give the dog cheese?

TACO: Because you told me to stop giving him dog treats.

WIFEZILLA: [sigh]

Ill Communication

PHONE: Ring, ring.

TACO: Hello?

WIFEZILLA: Why are we playing phone tag?

TACO: Because we can't reach each other. Duh.

WIFEZILLA: Cute.

TACO: Wanted to apologize.

WIFEZILLA: For what?

TACO: Smarting off at you this morning.

WIFEZILLA: Huh?

TACO: When you wanted me to contort myself down onto the couch and all. I realized I probably haven't ever told you how bad that shit hurts, so that was unfair.

WIFEZILLA: Oh. I didn't expect you to do that. I was just giving you shit.

TACO: Oh. I didn't realize that. I wind up feeling bad every time I tell you no.

WIFEZILLA: Well now you know.

TACO: Yeah.

WIFEZILLA: And knowing is half the battle.

TACO: Yeah.

WIFEZILLA: G. I. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!

Local Legends Die

There was an old stump in my home town, not far from the house I did most of my growing up in, that they called The Witch's Tree. The stump was the stuff of local legend, and the legends were pretty colorful... the stump was supposed to be what remained of a tree that had been used for various Satanic rituals back in the day, and everything short of the H-bomb had failed to remove the damn thing from the field it sat in.

The reference librarian in my home town is a good friend of mine, and he's been looking for The Witch's Tree to take a photo for posterity's sake, since we figured it wasn't likely to last forever. He dragged a friend of ours who'd been out to see it before into the caper today. Alas, The Witch's Tree is no more. They burned it out a few years ago, it would seem.

Stories about the stump were a staple of my teen years. I feel somehow simultaneously relieved and saddened.

Bathroom Schadenfreude

I was at the urinal taking a piss today when one of the high-powered executives down the hall sprinted in and past me doing that rapid knock-kneed duckwalk some people do. Looked like a race to the finish. I had just mentally bet myself that he was executing The Move -- you know, when you run in and simultaneously hook the stall door with your elbow, loosen your belt, and launch yourself ass first at the toilet? It's a complex ballet that is all the more amazing for the inherent risk that, should any cog in the intricate machine misfire, you'll be shitting up your back -- when suddenly, from the stall, came a sound absolutely identical to the one you hear when you release an overinflated balloon and it flies around the room.

For just a second, I thought in alarm that the man was deflating. Then that thought sank in and I started to laugh. Hard.

I've got to find a brake pedal to slow my reactions down till my brain has had a chance to tell me they're a bad idea. Not that I'd probably stop reacting inappropriately to things, just, you know... I'd be an immature asshole on purpose.

Weekend in Review

Grimm called me tonight and we talked for a few hours. Traded short stories, promised to critique them and speak again later this week. Awesome.

Fridge broke. Can't seem to turn off whatever mechanism cools the inside. Fridge side is 20 degrees below freezing. Have to spend money fixing that shit. Sucks.

Had to drink the beer before the cans explode. That can totally happen. Awesome.

Watched Rise of the Lycans this weekend. It wasn't as bad as I'd read, but lacked the style of the first two (by which, yes, I do primarily mean Kate Beckinsale's rubber-clad ass), so it wasn't as fun a romp. Meh.

Wifezilla wanted hot wings so we went to Hooters today. Nom nom nom. Awesome.

Sent Superpowers back to the library. Started out good, but the more I read, the less interested I was. I think I poisoned myself by reading a review before I was done with it. Oh well.

Missed my Thursday night lineup on TV this week because I went to LOL with Enzo. I think the other guy there might be Enzo's new boyfriend, but I didn't ask. If so, he might be the first decent guy Enzo's dated in a long time. The opening act wasn't funny at all... so unfunny, in fact, that I felt sorry for the guy, which is pretty much the opposite direction from fun. The headliner was damn funny, though, so the night was saved overall. Yay.

Beat the main story of Brutal Legend. The single player story is pretty short, which is a bit of a letdown. Great story, though, and it's very fun and funny. The multiplayer mode apparently makes use of the RTS element of the story, which kinda sucks... while that stuff was fun, the console controllers don't lend themselves well to it, so it never really becomes easy or transparent to make people do what you want. Great game but not worth initial retail in the end, I think. Pick it up for sure but maybe wait till it hits the $30 rack. Oh well.

Finishing Lux the Poet now. Love Millar. This is the least good one I've read by him and it's still quite fun. Been too unfocused with my reading lately, and have several books going concurrently. Buckling down and getting that back down to one. Once I get done w/ Lux, I have to finish off the Andy Jack book I got. Win. Sorta.

I think that's more in the plus column than the minus. Calling the weekend a win overall. Yay.