Rock Band 2 vs. the Wisdom of Kidzookie

I sold all my Rock Band stuff on Sunday. Listed it on Craigslist, which is always just a pain in the ass. Spent all day getting dicked around by people who wanted to haggle the price down at the last minute. Sorry, there, chief... I've taken really good care of the stuff, and the price is very fair. No love.

Finally heard from a really nice family that wanted to pick the game up for their son. The kid was really excited about it when they came over to get it. He wanted to run off home and play it, but I made him play it here to make sure it worked before they left ("That's what I'd do if I were buying it"). He played drums a little, declared the game to be in proper working order, declined to play the guitar, and looked positively aghast at the prospect of singing in front of strangers.

Good times :)

Picked up Rock Band 2 yesterday after lunch. Primarily, I wanted the new drum set, which plays a little nicer than the old one. Well, and the new songs. The new guitar and drums turn out to be wireless, too, which is pretty nice.

The big improvement, though -- which I didn't know about ahead of time -- is that you can turn off failing songs, so that you can complete them no matter how you play. That's a fantastic feature. As soon as I discovered that feature, Kidzookie, Girlzookie, and I started a virtual band together and played all afternoon. My son did a passable job on drums. My daughter sang Christmas songs to every tune we played.

I manned the guitar, and it was this that led to my moment of zen for the day. I'd just fucked up the ending solo to Shooting Star (again), and muttered, "shit," under my breath, as is my wont. My son looked over and said, "You put it on hard, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then, it's supposed to be hard to play, isn't it?"

Compromise

TACO: You really ought to read the book I'm reading now.

WIFEZILLA: The nymphos one?

TACO: Yeah. I'd offer to read it aloud but, you know, the kids.

WIFEZILLA: Well, if you ever went to bed at the same time as me.

TACO: I'd go to bed at the same time for a blow job. Every time. I went to bed with you.

WIFEZILLA: Every time?

TACO: Yeah.

WIFEZILLA: I'll meet you half way.

TACO: Deal.

WIFEZILLA: Okay.

TACO: I'd like the second half, please.

WIFEZILLA: ...

TACO: *laughs*

WIFEZILLA: This is going on your blog, isn't it?

Zen and the Art of the Burn

WIFEZILLA: Why are you always so down on yourself?

TACO: Low self esteem.

WIFEZILLA: Come on.

TACO: [trying somewhat artlessly to dodge the question] I don't make enough money, I'm terrible in bed...

WIFEZILLA: Ohhhhh... you make plenty of money.

[10 second pause]

TACO: Nice one.

WIFEZILLA: Thanks!

They call me Dr. Factoid

KIDZOOKIE: (referring to a Happy Meal toy) He's an insect, right?

TACO: Yep. You know what an insect is, right?

KIDZOOKIE: Yeah, like a bug.

TACO: Well, yeah, some bugs are insects, but not all of them. See, to be an insect...

KIDZOOKIE: Like ants?

TACO: Yeah, like ants. There's a few rules about insects.

KIDZOOKIE: Bugs have rules?

TACO: No, not that kind of rule. Criteria. How you know it's an insect. Insects have six legs...

KIDZOOKIE: Nuh-uh. Spiders don't have six legs.

TACO: Well, spiders aren't insects. They're arachnids. So are ticks and scorpions.

KIDZOOKIE: They're not insects?

TACO: No. Like I was saying, insects have six legs, and a body made of three sections...

KIDZOOKIE: Oh, the head, thorax and... uh... oh, abdomen!

TACO: ... how the crap did you know that?

KIDZOOKIE: I just did.

TACO: Okay, well, anyway, so you see how spiders aren't insects then.

KIDZOOKIE: How about worms?

TACO: What about worms?

KIDZOOKIE: They don't have any legs.

TACO: Well yeah. They're not insects.

KIDZOOKIE: My teacher says they're insects.

TACO: I think you must have misunderstood her.

KIDZOOKIE: No, she says they're insects.

TACO: She probably meant bugs. Some people call them bugs. 'Bug' is an imprecise term that encompasses...

KIDZOOKIE: Okay, Dr. Factoid.

Undone by my own jackassery

Taco: Now I'm giggling at the ongoing gag of the heroine's impotent petulance. I'm totally using that bit in one of the things I make up but don't write one day.

Coyote: Dude, you need to, if you haven't already, start a doc for all your ideas and notes so that when you open googledocs it's always right there, staring at you. Stop having awesome ideas and not doing stuff with them! I command it! Write more, damn it!!

Taco: Dude, you rock. I forgot that I had one of those, so I went off to add that nugget to it and found this one, which I'd forgotten: [removed because of that fucker who keeps stealing my half-finished stuff]

Coyote: Clearly I'm not doing enough begging on the make Taco write more battle front. I'll have to increase my efforts.

Taco: Taco is full of what we in scientific circles call "The Suck."

Coyote: The findings of the council are quite different. You wouldn't want to anger the council would you? They control all the mansex. And cheese. Truly they are powerful and wise.

Taco: *hypothesizes that Taco is full of The Suck*
Taco: *develops an experiment to test this hypothesis*
Taco: *performs said experiment*
Taco: *records findings*
Taco: *checks findings against his hypothesis*
Taco: *finds that, indeed, Taco is Sucktastic*
Taco: Yay for science!

Coyote: I can't help but notice that your findings and the details by which you came to those findings have not been put up for peer review. Also yay for science!

Taco: If I had any peers, I would put it up for their review ^_^

Coyote: Thank you for making my point for me. BOOYA!

Taco: Curse you, Richards!