Freud Sucks

WIFEZILLA: We're gonna have pork and corn...

TACO: PORN?!?!

WIFEZILLA: PORK. And CORN.

TACO: Shit.

Kitty's Got Claws

WIFEZILLA: Whatcha doin'?

TACO: Playing a tower defense game.

WIFEZILLA: Oh. Is your World of Warcraft not online?

TACO: No, it's fine.

WIFEZILLA: Why aren't you playing?

TACO: Kinda bored with it. My friends haven't been playing lately.

WIFEZILLA: Oh. They got girlfriends?

TACO: Damn, woman.

Of course I don't get permission until he's already found a job.

WIFEZILLA: I'm gonna have to wear my glasses for a couple of months.

TACO: ??

WIFEZILLA: Tore my last ones again. I can't afford to keep buying a new pack every two months.

TACO: Ah.

WIFEZILLA: Maybe when we're millionaires.

TACO: Hmm.

WIFEZILLA: 'Course then I could get a Seeing Eye Person.

TACO: A Seeing Eye Person would be cool.

WIFEZILLA: Or a Doing Eye Person.

TACO: [points at self]

WIFEZILLA: No, you're too busy most of the time.

TACO: No, I mean would your Doing Eye Person do me?

WIFEZILLA: If I'm tired.

TACO: Get a hot one.

WIFEZILLA: A girl, I assume?

TACO: W...

WIFEZILLA: Or Coyote, yeah, I know.

Turnabout, Fair Play, and the Symmetric Property

TACO: I have heartburn.

WIFEZILLA: Why do you have heartburn?

TACO: Because there is acid in my esophagus.

WIFEZILLA: Must you?

TACO: Ugh. Where's the antacid?

WIFEZILLA: In the antacid bottle.

TACO: Touche, madam.

She did what now?

My droid's autocorrect slays me.

kr4ster: how goes it?

Taco: Pretty good. Shit morning, on. the. phone with support forever. Hoe ate things your way?

Taco: Best typo ever.