TACO: You really ought to read the book I'm reading now.
WIFEZILLA: The nymphos one?
TACO: Yeah. I'd offer to read it aloud but, you know, the kids.
WIFEZILLA: Well, if you ever went to bed at the same time as me.
TACO: I'd go to bed at the same time for a blow job. Every time. I went to bed with you.
WIFEZILLA: Every time?
TACO: Yeah.
WIFEZILLA: I'll meet you half way.
TACO: Deal.
WIFEZILLA: Okay.
TACO: I'd like the second half, please.
WIFEZILLA: ...
TACO: *laughs*
WIFEZILLA: This is going on your blog, isn't it?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Fact is, I'm wonderful. Except for that one thing.
KIDZOOKIE: What are you doing?
TACO: Annoying your mom.
KIDZOOKIE: How?
TACO: Breathing.
KIDZOOKIE: Why does that annoy her?
TACO: She wants me dead.
KIDZOOKIE: No she doesn't!
TACO: Sure, she does.
KIDZOOKIE: Nuh uh! Why did she marry you, then?
TACO: Well, son, your mom makes bad decisions.
KIDZOOKIE: You're teasing me!
TACO: Yeah, I am. Fact of the matter is, I'm wonderful.
KIDZOOKIE: You're not wonderful. You talk about dookie!
TACO: Annoying your mom.
KIDZOOKIE: How?
TACO: Breathing.
KIDZOOKIE: Why does that annoy her?
TACO: She wants me dead.
KIDZOOKIE: No she doesn't!
TACO: Sure, she does.
KIDZOOKIE: Nuh uh! Why did she marry you, then?
TACO: Well, son, your mom makes bad decisions.
KIDZOOKIE: You're teasing me!
TACO: Yeah, I am. Fact of the matter is, I'm wonderful.
KIDZOOKIE: You're not wonderful. You talk about dookie!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Dear North Carolina...
Thank you for getting rid of Elizabeth Dole. I feel bad, though. I didn't get you anything.
Love,
-Taco
Love,
-Taco
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