A few weeks ago, as I left the house, I heard a steady drip-drip-drip of water into the mulch by my driveway. I've been through the water leak thing before, and it sucks, so I heaved a great big sigh, dropped my shit off in the car, and went back to try to find the leak.
There was a spot of damp mulch about 2.5 or 3 feet in diameter where water was still dripping at a steady pace. The limbs of the tree were soaked where it was dripping.
Shit. Nightmare visions of my house spraying water out onto the tree. It would be just my luck.
Except... the dripping was on the side of the tree that faces away from my house. And once I started thinking about it, there isn't any plumbing anywhere near the tree. wtf?
I set a trash can under the drip (waste not, want not... we're in a nasty drought), went to work, and promptly forgot about it. Until I got home and found a surprising amount of water collected in the trash can, and a continuing steady drip.
So I googled, and it turns out that river birches do this. Evidently, they can get all worked up in the spring, overdo it, and drip water all over the damn place.
Seriously. My damn tree is emo. On the plus side, I probably won't have to trim it any more if it starts cutting itself.
If it starts writing bad poetry, I'm cutting it down.