Genital Discourse Page 2

I remembered the other genitally whatchahoozits I wanted to talk about the other night.

We have flushless urinals at work. This is generally a Bad Idea. Because by the end of the day, the bathroom stinks like a monkey. Who. Um. Pees. On flushless urinals.

Anyway, it reeks. But it's also given rise to a new game.

For the past few days, I've entertained myself by peeing into the urinal such that the pool cycles in opposition to the Coriolis Effect. When I finish, it's a race to see if the Coriolis Effect can undo my work before the urine has finished draining.

I read the wikipedia entry on the Coriolis Effect this week and they say that the effect is minimal on draining fluid in bathtubs, sinks, and the like compared to other forces acting upon the fluid.

Translation? My pee is mighty!

Genital Discourse

There needs to be a Weird Al style parody of Silent Lucidity that's about prostitution. It should be called High Rent Nakedity. So get right on that. Thanks.

The eye doctor determined that the problems I've been having with my eyes have nothing to do with scratches on my corneas, but rather, I've been continually reinfecting them with the bacterial frappe that's developed in my contact solution case. So he gave me a different kind of solution that fizzes. Everything is better when it fizzes. Contact solution, cold and flu medicine, beer... the list is endless. Which leads me to believe that they should make fizzing condoms. Wifezilla says no. She denies my genius.

I had another genitally charged thing that I wanted to say here but I can't remember it. Oh well. Alien wingwongs. Discuss.

My Lord and Master is pleased.

We seem to be running a theme lately

WIFEZILLA: Hey.

TACO: Hey.

WIFEZILLA: You're pretty cute.

TACO: Mm.

WIFEZILLA: Did you know that?

TACO: No.

WIFEZILLA: Well, you are.

TACO: Explains a lot.

WIFEZILLA: Like what?

TACO: I can't keep my hands off myself.

WIFEZILLA: I've noticed that.

Faceplant

WIFEZILLA: My boob itches.

TACO: Want me to bite it?

WIFEZILLA: It's kinda sweaty underneath.

TACO: Never mind. You're disgusting.

WIFEZILLA: Oh, like you don't get sweaty under your stuff.

TACO: That's different.

WIFEZILLA: How in the hell is that different?

TACO: I don't put my face in there.

WIFEZILLA: If you could put your face in there, we wouldn't have a house.

TACO: If I could put my face in there, there wouldn't be a we.

WIFEZILLA: Oh, come on!