Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Genital Discourse

There needs to be a Weird Al style parody of Silent Lucidity that's about prostitution. It should be called High Rent Nakedity. So get right on that. Thanks.

The eye doctor determined that the problems I've been having with my eyes have nothing to do with scratches on my corneas, but rather, I've been continually reinfecting them with the bacterial frappe that's developed in my contact solution case. So he gave me a different kind of solution that fizzes. Everything is better when it fizzes. Contact solution, cold and flu medicine, beer... the list is endless. Which leads me to believe that they should make fizzing condoms. Wifezilla says no. She denies my genius.

I had another genitally charged thing that I wanted to say here but I can't remember it. Oh well. Alien wingwongs. Discuss.

7 comments:

E. S. Collins said...

No love for the low rent? Crack whores gotta make a living too!

Yet another reason to never ever try contacts. *shudder*

They're raping your FACE!

kr4ster said...

I have to admit, I had to read, "She denies my genius" twice..

Mind, meet gutter...

suyapi said...

I'll bet that alien wingwongs fizz.

Also, why do fizzing condoms make me think of pop rocks candy? Hm...think of the urban myths that could come out of that one.

fett said...

Oh great, now I'm thinking of playing a prank on my girlfriend next time we're...you know.

Who wants to be in a relationship anyways?

Hillery said...

I'm not sure whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.

E. S. Collins said...

Horritrigued. It's a thing.

kr4ster said...

Yeah, but avoid getting intoriffed.. I hear its irreversible..