Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Boobhism

A friend of mine was quite concerned over the fact that I no longer affiliate myself with any church. So to allay her fears regarding my immortal soul, I have founded the Boobhist church.

You may properly address me as The Boobha.

I'm told that a faith must have commandments. We really only have one:
  1. I am the Boob thy Gland, which brought you out of Puberty. Thou shalt handle no organ before me.
For those of you who feel that you need some sort of creed to recite, I offer the following:
Your Boobs
Which art in thy sweater:
Handled be thy state.
Thy date be fun,
Thy bra undone,
But be back home by eleven.
Cop us this day
Our daily feel.
And forgive us our lame passes,
As we would totally forgive those who made lame passes against us.
But deliver us from celibacy.
Just wait until you see the communion ritual.

11 comments:

E. S. Collins said...

How does one go about becoming ordained in this wonderful new thing?

damian j said...

What he said!

The Taco Prophet said...

We Boobhists believe that everyone is a Boobhist. There are just practicing and nonpracticing Boobhists.

Unless you mean becoming ordained as a Boobhist priest. I guess we really need some kind of ritual for that. Some kind of... boobtism.

Actually, that sounds pretty awesome. I vote for full dunking.

Tim said...

While I agree with the Boonhist doctrine, I was born and raised a staunch Vagitarian.

The Taco Prophet said...

That's no problem at all. We have vagitarian sects.

Heh. "Vagitarian sects." That's fun to say out loud.

fett said...

I have been a boobist for as long as I can remember. I think the boobtism should consist of putting your face between the largest boobs you can find and going PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPB

The Taco Prophet said...

Blessed be the motorboat, for they shall inherit the mirth.

TheKinkyLibrarian said...

Can there be priestesses too? I would love to be able to have all lingerie purchases be tax deductible. We need to get this rolling, boobs could be supported by underwires as well as tithes! Corsets would pay for themselves :)

The Taco Prophet said...

Priestesses are especially welcome. Doubly so when they're into corsets.

TheKinkyLibrarian said...

Corsets could be part of the ceremonial garb the priestesses. Perhaps the priestesses could conduct the boobtisms.

Julia said...

So, instead of wine..do you drink Milk?