I'm even weird when I'm asleep.

Yeah, so I had a dream about my friend fett last night. That's right. Lowercase f. He's all e. e. cummings old school, bitches.

So in my dream, I was living in Clemson again, and fett dropped by to visit me since he had finished up his Ph.D. It turned out that he had been working on his advanced degree in piracy lo, these many years. He was on his way out of town to hit the brine, having bought a boat and everything.

The boat was awesome. It folded up all tiny for road travel, and then expanded out to a full sized monster when he needed it for booty on the high seas. It was like a grown up transformer.

Heh. "Booty."

So fett and I said our tearful good-byes, and then he left. And then we noticed that he had stolen my cell phone, along with my wife's, my sister's, and my father's.

The dream ended as my wife asked me who he was, and I told her, "The best god damn pirate you'll ever see."

I swear to God.