So I'm riding in to work this morning, and the whole drive in, it looks like I missed some massive, failed deer uprising. The carnage was impressive. Several of the corpses were even more or less intact.
I saw no human bodies, by which I conclude that we must have won. I mean, we had the luxury of hauling our dead off the field of battle. Go home team!
Then, upon my triumphant return to work, and after wading through all the confetti and ticker tape (they say you get used to it, but I find that you never really do), I log in, check my email, and find that Grimmy's back, and has been posting comments on my blog.
Could it be coincidence that Grimm -- the man who once confessed to a burning desire to best a deer in hand-to-hand combat -- returned today? Nay, I say. Nay! I feel quite certain that he must have led the assault.
Your children are safe tonight thanks to this brave man.
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4 comments:
Someday Ruminant. POW! Right in the kisser!
Because mixing domestic violence with violence to animals is fun!
Actually, is a deer a ruminant? I just sort of assumed. Damn! I fail the Art of War! If I don't know my enemy I can only hope to win 50 battles.
Grimmy must really get around for the enemy suffered terrible losses way up here too.
A disturbing thought has come to me: What if the deer have taken to eating their human prey? It would certainly account for the lack of human corpses...Those bastards.
They must be stopped!
Now, if only we knew someone with an obsessive hatred of deer and the willingness to destroy them before they kill us all...
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