This is why I had kids.

KIDZOOKIE: I can't wait to go to school today.

TACO: How come?

KIDZOOKIE: Yesterday my teacher said we'd get a special reward today if we were good, and we were.

TACO: Cool. What kind of reward?

KIDZOOKIE: I don't know. I hope it's awesome.

TACO: Maybe she won't spank you. That would be a pretty great reward.

KIDZOOKIE: Teachers don't spank you.

TACO: WHAT?

KIDZOOKIE: They don't spank you.

TACO: Back when I was a kid, they spanked us all the time.

KIDZOOKIE: Nuh uh.

TACO: Oh yeah, big time. They'd beat us with this big old paddle if they just felt like it. God help you if you did something bad.

KIDZOOKIE: Like what?

TACO: Well, like this one time, my teacher asked a kid to spell "run." But he spelled it "R-O-N."

KIDZOOKIE: What happened?

TACO: I don't know. We never saw him again.

KIDZOOKIE: ...

TACO: Yeah.

KIDZOOKIE: Please don't ever take me to that school.